I hate myself....a lot.

 My life. 

Hahahahahahahaha

Pointless? Probably

I just want ME back. 

I was so happy with myself, but something changed. I lost a piece of myself and I'm not quite sure how or even really what it was. 

I used to be such a badass, I used to have it all together, I knew what I was doing, where I was going, who was beside me and I had life planned/ not planned out. 

But now, everything is up in the air. Cattywampuss. 

I was supposed to go to college: I didn't 

I was supposed to play an instrument: I don't 

I was supposed to find someone: I haven't 

I was supposed to change: I'm the same

I know what you're thinking:

"Kat you can easily change those things!" 

My reply: 

"Oh my God REALLY?! You have changed my life and offered words of wisdom quite beyond my years. Thank you, thank you! One thing, will you do me a favor? Kindly F*$K OFF!" 

Seriously? You think? If it was all SO easy I would have done it by now. But something keeps holding me back. God? Fear? Lazyness? All three? Who knows? 

All I know is that if something doesn't give I'm not quite sure how much longer I can take being me. 

I hate myself.