1.2.3.

Whoa. 

Just whoa. 

Is there a pause button? Can someone please press it? 

It's funny how things tend to hit you all at once.

#1 

I wish he was here. He would know what to say, what to do. 

But he's not here, Luke is not here. 

#2

Forgiveness. 

I can forgive anyone for anything. Except the person I should probably forgive the most. 

My father.

He's done so much to make my life hell. 

He's the reason I hate myself, why I always feel like I'm never good enough for anyone. 

Because I was never good enough for him. 

He's the reason it's so hard for me to trust. 

Even the people who I know I can trust, I still don't. I don't trust anyone. I'm sorry. 

#3

My mind was made up. 

I was done with the bullshit.

I was done missing someone who never realized what they had. 

It looked like you stopped caring, like you were done and had turned your back. 

And just as I was ready to turn and walk away, there you are. 

A hand on my shoulder. 

So now what? Huh?

Are you gonna say anything? 

I already laid my cards on the table it's your turn to deal. 

I gave up on you. 

Give me a reason not to.