Here you go.

I tried, I failed. 

So as I try to pull it all back in and move on, well its sucking BIG TIME. 

Whatevs, Let It Be. 

My weekend:

Friday:

I went to the Tom Sawyer parent meeting on, I'm going to be doing makeup, which is awesome because it means I get to hang out for tech week and the run of their show. It will be like I never left! I'm really excited to still be involved with Ash's last show. After the meeting Ashlee, Riley and I went to sushi and then went and saw "I Love You Man" it was funny. I really enjoyed be able to hang out with them together. :-) I was texting Ian while Ashlee was because I was pretending to be annoyed with him texting her during the movie, anyway we had a lil war. He won, only because I was off my game. Anyway later he told Ashlee he could see me being a lesbian. That really hurt my feelings because apparently a lot of people get a lesbo vibe from me just because I am not "girly" enough and I don't talk about boys all the time. Which I think is SO DUMB! Just because I'm not worrying 24/7 about the fact that I'm single and I don't wear makeup when I go out or wear cute little outfits, all the sudden I'm a lesbian? WTF?! I hate being labeled! But maybe I should change how I look and maybe I should start worrying about never meeting a man...

Saturday: 

I had rehearsal. It was fun, Patrick Gates is hysterical. Then I ended up taking my little cousin to Ceramic Cafe. I made a really cool vase and he painted a dragon, castle, thing. It's always really awkward hanging out with him, we have like nothing to talk about. I try to ask him questions about his life but he really doesn't have one. The kid has no friends, well he does, but not ones who would hang out with him outside of school. He doesn't have any hobbies besides video games, which isn't really his fault because he's like allergic to everything. Anyway we hung out and it wasn't horrible just awkward, we went to lunch then to Ceramic Cafe then I took him for some ice cream. It was cool, after that I took him home. I tried to hang out with my mom since I don't get to spend Sunday's with her anymore because of rehearsal but my Dad showed up... he ruins everything. I ended up getting a horrible headache that made me sick so I had to go home. I almost wrecked because the headlights of cars were bothering me so much. It made me cry it hurt so bad, I came home and went straight to bed. 

Sunday: 

I woke up this morning and went to church it was good, we're preparing for Holy Week. I am super siked my goal is to get Torrey to come to church for Easter, she WILL be coming! My angle is to remind her that Mary Kay was a christian, and Efrain already said he'd come. So yeah. Anyway then I had rehearsal, it went really well we actually got a bunch done. Katie said I was doing an amazing job, it was really nice to hear. Then I went to dinner with My mom, dad, my sister and her friend Desiree. It was cool, Torrey started ranting about how I should join Mary Kay again, I just nodded and ignored her. I've already told her like 12 times that I'm not interested. My dad somehow made every conversation about him, by asking random questions right in the middle of mine, Torrey's or my mother's stories. He is such a crack head. I almost punched him in the face like several times, I kind of wanted to just to see what would happen. I restrained myself though and chatted with Desiree, I like Dez she's really cool. It's funny because she is the polar opposite of my sister but they are like best friends. After dinner we all went our separate ways. Torrey invited me to go to her house and hang out with her and Dez, but I just wanted to be alone. Anyway, now I'm home and doing laundry. 

I hate my life, I really do. 

"Doing all I can to make things better, everything I can to get things right. Baby when you're with me it's a little more like heaven, here in my mind, here in my mind.

    I've been looking for so long to find this place I seek, and I just got to believe it's more than dream. Seems it's time I should move on but I hope you come with me, till we find eternity

    You just can't let this ol' world get us down, there's too much beauty in this life. It should be so perfect, we shouldn't know we made it to the other side, when we make it to the other side.

   I've been looking for so long to find this place I seek, and I just got to believe it's more than a dream. Seems it's time I should move on but I hope you come with me, till we find eternity."

      - John Rich & Kenny Alphin

I love this song. It's helping me get through the days, I know someday I'll find my eternity, one way or another.